Anyway teaching is a paradox for me. I always dread going to teach, I feel anxious and run through several scenarios of why I don't like teaching. I get stressed and find myself ruminating on lesson plans and worries about running out of things for my students to do in class. But then I get to class and I start talking with my students about the subject matter. And all my anxiety goes away, the dread is replaced by excitement and energy. I can honestly say that I enjoy the process of talking with my students and engaging around the topics. They ask questions and offer good discussion points and I find myself totally invested in the conversation. My mind is spinning in several directions as I also stay close to the conversation at hand. We go through lectures and do role plays. I feel intellectually alive and refreshed. It's just really good.
Then I head home and recount to MSD all the interesting things that students said (sometimes we also laugh about the somewhat crazy things that were said). We discuss teaching and get into it over classroom details (sometimes we have very different opinions about how to handle classroom instruction). But it always yields some good conversation. And then I am totally and completely exhausted. After some brief discussion I usually have to head to bed with a book because my brain is fried. For example, right now my head feels incredibly full and tight. I am overwhelmed at the thought of having a conversation about anything. Writing actually feels easy since there is no need to exchange ideas with anyone. I am so tired that trying to think of responses to someone's questions feels impossible.
All of this reminds me yet again that I am a complete introvert who needs time to recharge her batteries. I need time to sit and just let my mind rest since being with people taxes my resources. Thankfully after teaching all weekend I have a few days to recover before going into the office to do therapy. I plan to spend those days wisely and somewhat quietly.
And now a gratuitous picture of Nemo who I plan to spend most of my time with: