Putting some thoughts to paper...

Today was appropriately cold for January. It was that deceiving kind of cold day that looks bright and sunshiny from in the house. I was foolish enough to be swayed by the brightness that I left my gloves in the house when I went on a quick errand. Mid-way to my destination I realized my hands are freezing on the ice cold steering wheel. This was only a mildly shocking reminder that the temperate days of December have left us and been replaced with bitter cold.

One of my very best friends had a baby about a week ago. On a very cold and wintery day a new baby came into the world. She's been in early labor since several days earlier in the week, so it was time. I've had people around me have babies and even had one myself but she's my closest friend to go through the experience. I found myself pausing all day to wonder how she is and how she's feeling. We had a brief 20 minute phone call and she's been humoring me by responding to my texts but I am longing to sit with her and hear all her thoughts on the experience. I know she's busy and no doubt occupied by gazing at her newborn (isn't that what everyone does???) She's now a mother, when I saw her a few weeks ago I laughed and said it would be the last time before she was a mom. Now she is. In a moment, a huge life transition. I feel like the reality of the transition set in slowly for me. Yes, there was the shock of no sleep and new life but now I look over the year and see my slow progression into thinking about my child's well being first and considering my choices as mother and a person not just an individual.

I've also been thinking about what it was like the day Nemo was born. The newness of being a family of three and the intense emotions. The blissful moments of new babyhood. The delight at finding myself cozied up to my darling partner and delicious new baby. In my saner moments I've been recalling my experience in childbirth and the process of recovering afterward. But even that was an empowering feeling, to see a new life come into the world, it's cliche but amazing to behold. There is a delightful joy in those new moments of life. When Nemo was born I found myself staring into the faces of my mother and husband both of whom were crying. I was simply relieved that labor was over and had a rush of wonderful feelings (probably the natural oxytocin!) just by looking at my baby. But that first moment is ingrained in my head and I hope will stay there forever.

Our first family shot